Sunday, 9 October 2011

Black dog vs Cakes

I am trying very hard not to be depressed at the moment, but things are really fucking awful. (This is the external world as much as my internal little world that no one else can see - was it always this bad, or did I just not notice? I grew up in the 70s, there were bodies unburied, 3 day weeks, power cuts, the National Front, Margaret Thatcher, disgusting food - but it didn't seem as bad as this...?) My personal stuff, I can't even talk about.

I have retreated this weekend to my bed and have watched the Great British Bake Off, series 2, back to back. Ah, baking. It's so... so civilized. In this world, the worst thing that can happen is that your ganache fails to solidify. Your eclairs are a bit wonky. Your Battenburg is assymetrical.

But no one will be horrible to you, not like on other reality shows. Paul Hollywood will lay down some harsh but fair criticism, borne of professional knowledge. Mary Berry (3000 years old and looking amazing) will just say "What a pity" and look just a bit disappointed, but mention that it still tastes gorgeous. And Mel and Sue are warm and comforting. They'll say something nice and cheering to the crestfallen baker, and swipe one of their rejected efforts, and that will stop them feeling like a hopeless miserable failure...

The insane level of detail and polish, to go into something that looks so pretty and perfect, that will be snaffled up in about a nanosecond. The tears of joy when they get voted Star Baker that week. The pure, English niceness of the whole enterprise. Nothing bad can happen in Mary Berry World.

It's way better than Prozac.


  1. But Annie Bad Things did happen in the Great British Bake Off.
    Holly was robbed!

    Sorry. Sincerely hoping things get better soon.

  2. cheers, Macy.

    Holly is very talented, but she did scare me a little bit. She had a fanatic gleam in her eye. She's like the Terminator of baking.

  3. Sending some internet brain hugs your way.

    In other news, I met Mel in the green room when I was waiting to go on the Lorraine Kelly show back when I was important about a decade ago. She the only celeb in the room who talked to me and she was very nice.

  4. Ah, thank you.

    You were on the telly? You met Mel? You met LORRAINE KELLY? And you've kept all this quiet all this time??

  5. Dogs v Black Cake is a more sensible choice

  6. Yes. I find about the only thing I have to look forward to at the moment is cake. The trouble is that I am well aware that the more sugar I eat the worse my mood gets and it would be sensible to strip out that tiny moment of pleasure.

  7. I love baking but the only way I can continue to enjoy it is to not care a flying dried-fig about presentation.

  8. I cried when it finished. Tears of joy for the winner, I think, but maybe something to do with my mood too.

  9. Used to get invited on to the news and daytime TV shows to do guest expert slots when they were covering consumer tech stories. On that occasion, Lorraine was doing a week-long feature on couples that had got together after meeting on Friends Reunited, and they needed a rent-a-geek to talk about how the interwebs work.

  10. Rog, one of these would cheer me up.

    GSE I made apple crumble with windfall apples from the garden, I noticed that the sugar rush made me a bit mental & hyperactive for a bit.

    Dave, all the contestants seemed nice & deserving too. Their modesty was engaging.

    B, me too. But otherwise I guess the judges would just stuff themselves & go nomnomnom, which is not really compelling TV.

    I wish I'd seen internet rent-a-geek LC. I bet it's on YouTube somewhere...

  11. Just the smell of something baking.....nicer than eating sometimes. Hope you are soon comforted by wafts of butter and spice.