Sunday, 2 October 2011

Radio 4


6.00 am - 9.00 am John Humphreys shouting at someone in Westminster. Something about Michael Gove which will make me hurl the radio out the window.

9.00 am - 12.00 pm The Archers.
Join us on the farm in Ambridge as Wurzel & Peg worry about the sukebind crop. Something about pigs. Something about 'A' levels. Something about fraud, rape, incest, and arson which will somehow end up sounding unbelievably tedious.

1.00 pm - 1.30 pm. News.

1.30 pm - 2.30 pm More The Archers. Middle class couples worrying about something boring. Comedy working class country accents of no fixed location for comic relief.

2.30 pm - 3.30 pm An interesting, brilliantly researched & produced documentary on something unexpected, which you'd never have thought could be so fascinating.

3.30 pm - 4.00 pm Just A Minute. Nicholas Parsons (3000 years old) sounds more sprightly than any of the middle aged comedians.

4.00 pm - 5.00 pm - Desert Island Discs, this is great, when Kirsty Young lets the interviewees get a word in edgewise, and when she doesn't miss interesting cues they drop by interrupting them or cutting them off mid-flow.

5.00 pm - 6.00 pm A 'comedy drama' of such breathtaking unfunniness it was surely commissioned by the author's mum or dad.

6.00 pm - 12.00 am - The Archers. Apocalypse visits Ambridge. It's still tedious. Giles and Hermione worry about takings being down in the Farm Shop.

12.00 am the Shipping Forecast. Hurrah!


  1. You're right about Parsons. He gave Tony Hawks an almighty slapdown today. Dude.

  2. Yay! Spot on. Apart from You and Yours in which we investigate current worrying trends regarding bins being emptied.

  3. What do you mean I'm 'right about Parsons' Tim? Like I'm not right about the Archers? What is the hold this atrocity has over otherwise right-thinking people? If the politicians could perform the kind of mass hypnosis over the populace enjoyed by the Archers, they'd be laughing.

    Rog, all the people on You and Yours are clearly mad.

    Oh, and I forgot Women's Hour. How global warming, the economic crisis and the discovery of neutrons moving faster than the speed of light will affect working wives and mums.

  4. Though to be fair, Jenni Murray does have the sexiest voice in the world. Fact.

  5. Did you ever hear the brilliant 'Week Ending' spoof of the R4 schedules about twenty years ago? (Forgive me madam, you're far too young!) I'm going to try and find it and upload it to YouTube or SoundCloud or something. A Day in the Life of Radio Four it was called and I have it on an old C45 cassette and it's priceless. You & Yours, for instance, leads with a shocking investigation into whether 'greengrocers have the right to charge us for a wet lettuce...'

    You'd love it!

  6. I feel the same way about Kirsty Young as you do about Gove. That woman has the most annoying voice on the radio.
    AND the tv, if it's a really bad night...

  7. Hi, the Dotterel, that sounds great. They are not so good on the satire these days. They should bring back Chris Morris.

    Bless you. On the internet, we're all young.

    Hey Macy. Oh no! There's no escaping Kirsty...