Sunday, 18 December 2011

New Year's Resolutions

Oh I know it's early to be thinking about this, I'm just trying to ignore the whole next few festive days with dignity and look ahead, because they're really just an irrelevance to me - you hear that, rest of the world? You are IRRELEVANT TO ME.

What are New Year's Resolutions meant to be for? Are they meant to be improving, or for pleasure? I don't know. Let's see.

1. Get a job. This is a bit boring actually. Get a job I like. Or at least I can stand?

2. Learn to drive. Really, it's getting a bit ridiculous. Well, I guess I need a job before I can do that, to pay for lessons. Unless I start going out with a driving instructor who'll teach me for free.

3. Go out with someone. Just, you know, dating. Because I'm losing the desire to ever go out with anyone again. Why do people do this again?

4. Travel somewhere I haven't been before.

5. Stop blogging like it's a personal diary. Blogs are so last season anyway, what am I still doing here?



  1. maybe you could start bookcrossing again? that's how I found the blog.

    the dating thing - I'm not sure why anyone dates, and that's pretty much why I started my blog. I generally don't understand why people would consider 'dating' in itself a good thing. I understand why one would want to go out with someone specific (who you know, who you buy your coffee from, who you see in a bar). But not so much why you'd consider the idea of a date in the abstract a good thing. It kind of scares me, to be honest - the idea that we just need to partner up. I've never felt that way, but I'll be the first to admit I'm a touch eccentric.

    My new year's resolution isn't a new year's resolution - it started a couple of months ago. I had a friend go through a life-changing event a while back, and I'm starting to realise how important it is to do the things I've always wanted to do or promised to do. I'm forcing myself to do everything I've been scared of - hence the dating and the blog about it. There's lots more, too. It boils down to William Saroyan's advice: "Try to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell, and when you get angry, get good and angry."

  2. Why don't you find a driving instructor who gives you free lessons in exchange for sex before he reveals that he's also a spymaster and he sends you on a mission to Uzbekistan, and you can live blog the whole thing?

    Or have you already been to Uzbekistan?

  3. I'm hitched, with a toddler and one more on the way. My ambition for the coming year extends only as far as maybe getting one full night's sleep per month and perhaps going one full week without my wife talking down to me.

  4. Hello, Miscommunicant. I know, I wish I could change the name but Blogger won't let me. Nobody commented on the bookcrossing posts so I gave it up, it was no fun doing it alone.

    Which I guess is the same reason for dating. If meeting someone in the natural course of events isn't happening, I guess you have a better chance of finding someone you like than by sitting at home reading a nice book.

    Bravo for doing the things that scare you. (I've put off learning to drive because I think I'd be a terror behind the wheel. Maybe this year is the year.)

    Tim, this is like my ideal scenario. IDEAL.

    LC, aw. I remember my sister ringing me up when number 1 nephew was a baby and demanding exactly what time I went to bed, how many consecutive hours of sleep I'd had and what time I'd got up. It was like sleep porn for her.

    I think you should go for 5 kids at least. Go on, it'll be great.

  5. My ambitions are humble - get the bathroom light fixed. I've been showering in the dark for about three months.

  6. TB, they do say that celebrating small achievements is the way to happiness. On the other hand, showering by candlelight is quite nice.