Sunday, 30 October 2011


The folks insisted on sending me for a health check. It's good to have an MOT when you get to my advanced age so I went along with it.

Reasons to be smug:

Good cholesterol levels, despite the addiction to crisps. Rah!

Less lardy than I thought ("You have a lovely pear shape" cooed the doctor. Great, thanks.)

Relatively fit, though I take no exercise whatsoever. At least this hateful job is good for something - I run up and down 6 flights of stairs at least 10 times a day.

I have EXCELLENT LUNG CAPACITY, despite smoking since I was 13 and working everyday in the most polluted part of the worst polluted city in Europe. (Have never felt more foolish than sitting on an exercise bike, plugged all over with ECGs and with snorkel-like mouthpiece, holding arm out for a blood pressure cuff, peddling for dear life.) My lung age is 29, apparently.

My lungs are younger than I am.


  1. I'm saying nothing.... nothing...
    Oh OK then, as a really fit, thin healthy, smoker of only five fags a day I had a heart attack four months ago.
    I didn't believe it could happen either....
    and no, I didn't have high blood pressure...
    Oh and heart attacks account for one third of all deaths of women under sixty.

    OK I'm shutting up now.

  2. Oh Macy, I'm really sorry. I hope you are on the mend.

    I know, I know *hangs head*

  3. "You have a lovely pear shape" is just a doctory way of leching over your bootyliciousness without risking a lawsuit. And yes, I know it was probably a lady doctor, but that just makes the whole thing more delightfully naughty.

  4. Aw, Tim. You're the only one who says I'm bootylicious. Hurrah!