Bored

I don't know why I bore you with this. I keep a journal of sorts & should confine it there, but thoughts become clearer when you write them in Blogger, for some reason. I guess when you try and explain things to other people really you're clarifying them to yourself.

I could go out tonight, was invited to the working men's club (more fun than it sounds, it's in Bethnal Green and they do all sorts) but too tired, too old & past it.

I'm not contented to be alone anymore, but going out & meeting people seems a chore. Really what I want, deep in our hearts what we all want, is not to be in love, to be over all that heart-racing, can't eat/can't sleep/thinking about them all the time stage, through all that and at the comfortable relaxed irritable god-he-drives-me-crazy-when-he-clears-his-throat-like-that stage, where you can just stay home and bore & irritate each other in comfort, and not feel guilty for never going out on a Friday night anymore. In other words, what we aspire to is still bored but not lonely & bored.